Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Fucking is overrated.

Guys... seriously... sex is fucking overrated. Ooooooo... congrats... you were able to convince some sweet innocent girl to jump onto a bed of broken needles and crack pipes behind the 7/11 only to realize this sweet girl is the product of fake tits, lots of makeup, and a cock taped behind his/her asshole............. think about that for a minute. Soak it in. Like a warm bath. Tape..... and cocks. I suggest you not find this out the hard way. Especially when they try to rob you for all your money so they can go buy some heroin.... sad really when a man has to turn into a woman in order to fixate his drug habits. Actually, that's a pretty fucking smart way to rob somebody if you think about it. Its unassuming if you pull off the look, guys like loose women, and if you the victim are drunk enough... you'd fuck any chick who is willing to get her ass plugged behind an assortment of all kinds of buildings! Not just 7/11s mind you. Just in case you want to know, I found this pretty bitching graph. It explains what the police in America believe to be the biggest drug problems according to region. FINALLY! A SUBJECT RELATED TO THE NAME OF THIS BLOG! THERE IS A [no] GOD! Click on the picture you bad boy you and I will grow BIGGER!....thats what she said.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Russians dont fuck around.

I think I have found the coolest design studio ever. Of course they are Russian which makes it even fucking cooler cause they drink vodka like it was their job [but their job is designing.... find a joke in their somewhere folks.]. These guys make some pretty serious shit... like THE MOST EXPENSIVE FUCKING KEYBOARD EVER! What I appreciate about these guys is that they do more than just websites, posters [which you should check out anyways] and shit. They actually design peripherals and products like said keyboard and probably the coolest set of speakers as well. They just have some of the most badass shit... and they are clever about it too. Nothing is cheesy about them unless they do it intentionally. I also suggest reading their M.O. Like I said... these guys dont fuck around. Take your time absorbing that shit... cause they're fucking Russians.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Facebook will be your new porn.

I little Blue Jay flew over my head today. He was very much a friendly bird. He delicately landed on my shoulder and started to chirp as if he was talking to me. He got closer and closer to my ear and then cocked his head to the side like a dog would after you try shoving his face into your peanut-buttered covered nutsack. Then... a miracle happened.... he said

"YO MOTHAFUCKA YOUS GOSTA LOOK AT THIS MOTHA FUCKING VIDEO DAWG! IT SHOWS YOU HOW TO MAKE TITTIES APPEAR THROUGH T-SHIRTS! YOUS GOSTA USE THAT MOTHA FUCKING PHOTOSHOP YO!"

He bequeathed me the holiest grail of all fucking URLs. I share this gift with you now.

Alright kids... start fucking going through your facebook friends.


Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Its not Hip-Hop.... its Electro!

I think I have this sick fetish for enjoying squared sound-waves and synthesizers. Maybe its due to the fact that they remind me of my ears getting massage by something warm... also... I got high a lot pretty much throughout high-school and always enjoyed the feel/sound of compressed sounds and distorted guitar. I, of course, have matured and have moved on to more sophisticated ways to introduce bodily harm to myself... like razor blades to my sack. But you know whats better than slashing your balls? Fucking electro! No ... intercourse with electronic appliances, especially plugged in, will always end in hearbreak... or the removal of said genitalia. I've decided to embed 5 really amazingly awesome shitty electro songs that I am sure if you have half a brain you've heard these little sculpted pieces of shit that resemble gems. Pull out your pacifiers and start flicking the light switches!

P.S. - If you like tits and ass... you will want to fuck me. Oh... and you'll like these videos too... Not the Paul Oakenfold one however. He's just standing there.... you might like that kind of thing though.








Monday, April 13, 2009

Phil Spector is mean.

Phil Spector... I never suspected him of being a nice man. So...my suspicions were true when he was found guilty of second degree murder. Oh well.... read it here.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

alright... i might be a little drunk....

please... dont think less of me...i just...i i just have to put this up... like super bad. do you ever get to that point when you hear an old song that just brings you back? God.... that fucking Kevin Costner... i mean... really? So dreamy...fucking robin hood and shit and he dances with wolves and shit! Bryan Adams? Like... why didn't he make like a million billion fucking dollars? I am just so fucking confused by this.... i think im gonna cry.... really hard.



"Who the fuck uses a red stratocaster in the 14th Century? Really Bryan? and and and and the denim jacket? I am just SOOOO appalled!"

Friday, April 10, 2009

apparently they like shit

Its true... Antenna Inn like shit. That's what happens when you get 9 overly ambitious idiots who make shitty music. They eventually go back to the source of their creativeness: fecal matter. This is true on many levels. They must all have really smalls dicks because their band is so fucking huge. The are like the Porsche of indie rock. I'm talking like.... 50 drummers and like 25 gutiars. They are the musician's mid-life crisis. They made a movie which features some live songs and shows how much they love what they do [hint: they slap each other in the balls a lot and chain smoke. I'm pretty sure they are all alcoholics]. Also... since they are all retards I have compiled all their videos together because I am a nice guy and YouTube are a bunch of pussies for limiting the size of video uploads.





Good Morning Sam. 3===D

Called me old fashioned but I am a sucker for space flicks, especially ones that deal with human psychology. I'm not talking about Star Trek or campy fucking movies where they make it a point to show humans fucking an alien in god knows what hole the human thinks hes trying to fuck. Im talking about 2001, Sunshine, Mission to Mars [sorta good?], Solaris, Event Horizon [fuck you.. it was good and scary]. The human experience brought to film via cold space. Love that shit. Well here is a trailer for another take on that scenario. It's called "Moon". Glad it wasnt called 2001 Part 2: Hal's Revenge.


Tuesday, April 7, 2009

The Shitty Life

Just to prove to you guys that The City Life are bunch of dicks... I made a video of taking their comments out of context and now I am showing it to you shit bags. Don't worry... I still don't have any artistic integrity.


video

Fuck Space x Fuck Time = Paradox

I had a dream of watching a porno that had a girl I knew in it performing acrobatic feats that well... are what dreams are made of. Isn't that silly? I mean, why not just have a dream about having sex with said girl who is performing these human pretzel positions that would make your gear work overtime. This girl is hot too... like Kathleen Turner hot... no not young Kathleen Truner but old, multiple plastic surgeries, hating Nicolas Cage [The Rock should have won an Oscar.] Kathleen Turner that looks like she took a latex mask of herself and stretched it over her face and pinned it back Kathleen Turner. You know... something like out of the Hellraiser movies. And that is all I have to say about that. [kudos to the person who knows the last sentence is from]

Oh... and check this out all you musical fucking idiots. Expand your brain.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

The Village Death

Alright you shit machines....you may or may not know, there is this band called The City Life from New Orleans. Supposedly, they have been a pretty big fixture in the New Orleans rock scene for about 5 years. I don't see it honestly. I mean, I have heard a few tunes and shit and was not impressed. Their singer sounds like Liza fucking Minnelli! Seriously Leon DeLionFucker or whatever your Hebrew name is... grow some balls and stop singing fucking Cabaret. Oh right... sorry... the point of this post is to inform you idiots that they are finally breaking up. Thank god, right? I heard these guys one time at the Circle Bar. Worst. Show. Ever. Talk about a band trying really really hard to get your attention. Too much dancing for my taste. I haven't been this excited about a break up since I hurled my brothers antique porcelain piggy bank into a brick wall. I was always curious what a band breaking-up sounds like, you know? Does it sound like a pane of glass shattering or pottery being hit by a bat? Who knows.... I mean I guess you can find out on Friday, April 3rd at One Eyed Jacks at around 9pm [that was not a plug]. Fuckers.

"I told you boss, we got rid of the body. Oh wait ... it's resting on Lucy's shoulder"